Become a Hipster Dude in One Afternoon

Become a Hipster Dude in One Afternoon

Syklone

PUBLISHED

New York, NY / Entertainment / Shopping

Williamsburg, Brooklyn is ground zero of the Hipster non-movement, and what better place to get you started than this Mecca of Irony (Ironically it never wanted to be a Mecca of Irony). We'll be picking up some ridiculously overpriced used clothing and accessory essentials, work on your posing, and finally meet the Hipster's best friend.

1. The Metamorphosis Begins

Bedford Ave L Stop

180 N 7th St New York, NY, 11211

Get Directions

Start your journey by hopping on the L-Train in Manhattan. The quick ride over to Brooklyn will be full of enough prime Hipster specimens to give you a good glimpse at what you’re in for. Take it all in, because your transformation begins once you exit the subway at Bedford Ave. While this area is rapidly gentrifying with Manhattan families, it's still ground zero and has more than enough shops to get us started.
MIXSEE MAP GOES HERE!

2. Dress to Unimpress

Beacon's Closet

New York, NY, 11211

Get Directions

Tee-shirts are a Hipster hallmark. It's paramount that your shirt be ironic and a bit grungy. Keep in mind that hipsters love to show a little skin, so keep those tee collars stretched. Generally your tee-shirt's neck hole should at least fit your torso. At a certain point, you may want to get a scripted tatoo just below the collarbone too. If it's warm, guys are encouranged to wear tank tops. Most tees that aren't of a major brand, look faded and have some sort of obscure (preferably conceptual) pop cultural reference from the 70s or 80s should do fine. Go the extra Hipster mile and alter your tee with duct tape or a sharpie, or just tear a large hole in it, and you'll score even more points. (Though hipsters never keep score) Remember, if it's fall or winter, you'll be wearing a plaid shirt and Hipster scarf over your tee, so keep that in mind as you shop.

Plaid if Rad. After you find your tee, a long sleeve button up plaid shirt is next. You could opt to swap out your plaid button up with a hooded sweatshirt (as long as it has a faded print), or layer them. For a single plaid shirt you must either keep in entirely unbuttoned, or buttoned up to the top. Nothing in between! If it's chilly, don't be shy about layers.

Pants. Tight is always right (except for parachute pants) Butt-huggin print pants in the winter and tighty-whiteys in the summer. If you're really adventurous get yourself a set of colorful carrot-cut pants that flood. If you're opting for carrot-cuts, be very attuned to the fit as they should flood well above the ankles.
MIXSEE MAP GOES HERE!

3. Accessorize

Buffalo Exchange

504 Driggs Ave New York, NY, 11211

Get Directions

Let’s start with eyewear: you need to get yourself some oversized ironically outdated eyeglasses. The bigger, more colorful, and more hideous you look in them, the better. If you have 20/20 vision just pop the lenses out. When people realize you don't even need glasses it will be even more ironic and you'll be that much cooler.

Next let’s move on to your headgear. Most vintage hats will do, but keep this general rule in mind: when wearing a baseball, fedora or Afghani elder style hat, it should be so small that it sits atop the back of your head. If you’re opting for a slouchy knit cap, it should be loose and oversized. Don’t expect your hat to keep your ears warm either; it will be sitting far above your ear line.

Now it’s time for your crotch to do some talking. When buying a belt buckle, the bigger the better. In fact your skinny jeans can sometimes fade to black behind the shine of your belt buckle.
MIXSEE MAP GOES HERE!

4. Practice your Pose Over Lunch

Fabiane's Cafe & Pastry Shop

142 N 5th St New York, NY, 11211

Get Directions

Way to go, you're looking amazing. But I have a feeling you knew that. Let's grab a bite and pose a bit. Fabiane's is a Williamsburg staple. It's been around for years and draws locals and tourists alike. Best of all it is on a really crowded corner, so if you dine outside people can see you apathetically complain about your arugula and goat cheese salad.
MIXSEE MAP GOES HERE!

5. Get Your Fixie Fix

Bicycle Doctor

133 Grand St Brooklyn, NY, 11211

Get Directions

Next it’s time to pick out your new best friend. The two-wheeled peddling device known to us at the bicycle, is known to Hipsters as the Fixie. While the Fixie is the most common mode of transport for the Hipster, they have also been know to ride double-deckers, the Old Timey High Wheelers and unicycles.
MIXSEE MAP GOES HERE!

6. Try A New Attitude

McCarren Park

463 Leonard St New York, NY, 11222

Get Directions

While we’ve transformed your outward appearance, here is where you’ll try on your new attitude. Go ahead, join in that kickball game you weren’t invited to join, if you still play well with others you’ve already failed. You must keep in mind that being a Hipster begins with a genuine “I don’t give raccoon shit” attitude. It is imperative that you have a thick skin buttressed by a true sense of inflated self-worth and un-earned entitlement. Your blasé attitude must flow like a fountain of PBR from within. When you leave Williamsburg or any urban Hipster enclave you will be openly ridiculed and mocked by adults and pointed at by gasping children horrified by your appearance. Take it all in stride. Some people just don’t get the irony.
MIXSEE MAP GOES HERE!